Muley's Miscellany

I'm still trying to gather together what wits I have after a busy but very satisfying Fourth of July weekend here in Waco, so while I pick up the mental pieces I offer a few interesting tidbits.

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I have so far not offered myself up as a movie reviewer, but I notice that a great movie is out today on DVD, so I must comment. It's a movie called Bride and Prejudice, directed by Indian director Gurinder Chadha, most famous for the movie Bend It Like Beckham.


Bride and Prejudice could be described as Bollywood musical meets Jane Austen. It is, of course, a retelling of "Pride and Prejudice," except in an Indian setting. Mr. Darcy is played somewhat woodenly by an American actor whose name I can't remember, but the Elizabeth Bennet role is played by the radiant Aishwarya Rai, a former Miss World who is known as the "Queen of Bollywood."

The acting won't win any Oscars, but this is a fun, fairly wholesome PG-13 movie, and what really got me were not only the colorful costumes and settings, but the wonderful music that almost had me dancing in the aisles at the theater. If all you require is a movie every now and then that will whisk you away to another place and make you happy for 90 minutes, try this one.

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I think I may know know why the British didn't seem to put up a bigger protest about having to leave Hong Kong. The Brits had already figured out what a Hong Kong social worker named Grace Wong recently discovered: many men and women in Hong Kong apparently don't know how to do "what comes naturally."

Wong explains Hong Kong's low incidence of connubial sexual activity by explaining, "Some married couples are not familiar with their body parts. They don't know where their sex organs are."

Great natural harbor and wonderful martial arts movies and all, but would you want to hang around and drink the same water as these guys over an extended period of time?

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Here's a scenario: you see a guy apparently drowning, you jump in and save him, and then, as your reward, you get arrested. Impossible? Not here in Texas.

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All of us supporters of artistic freedom should be appalled that a British man whose latest "work of art" is a water faucet left running for a year to protest wasting water (ironic, like torturing animals to protest their torture) might have the spigot turned off by his London water company. This guy should have tried this in America -- instead of being harassed, he'd probably get a fat NEA grant, be feted at New York parties and go on all the talk shows.

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Finally, there were no doubt wildly cheering crowds in the streets of the Estonian capital of Tallinn recently when residents learned their country had won its eighth straight world wife-carrying title. Contestants must carry a woman (not necessarily their wives) weighing at least 108 pounds across an obstacle course, complete with pool and hurdles, in the shortest amount of time.

I guess this talent comes in handy in case you have to remove your wife from a burning house, or helpfully escort her away from a 50 percent off sale at Foley's when the charge cards are maxed out.

Winner Margo Uusorg completed the course in just under a minute, using his trademark "Estonian Carry," where the woman is hung upside down with her legs clenched around the man's neck.

And what did Uusorg get for his feat besides the eternal love of his countrymen? A mobile phone and...his partner's weight in beer. That's the key to this. Check.