Friday, March 24, 2006

Some Things About Me (part four)

76. I have bounced a check or two (or three) in my time. It’s not something I’m proud of. For what it's worth, it was due to poor recordkeeping on my part, not a desire to defraud anyone.

77. Our family had a CB radio in the car back in the 1970s when it was all the rage. My handle was “Texas Tornado.” Copy that, good buddy? 10-4.

78. The stupidest, worst comedy I remember seeing is “Anchorman” with Will Ferrell. It’s one of the few movies in my life I’ve felt like walking out of.

79. I took oil painting lessons in 6th grade, and was getting much better when I had to quit because we moved to another town.

80. When I was in elementary school, my mother made me and my younger brother take etiquette lessons. We were taught how to introduce ourselves and others (“Mr. Jones, may I introduce Mr. Muley.”) We learned which fork was which, how to use napkins, how to insert cufflinks, what to do with finger bowls, and how to bow, among other things. I have forgotten most of what they taught, although I do remember that elbows on the table are a big no-no. Feet on the table, too, as far as that goes.

81. I think O.J., Michael Jackson, Robert Blake and Lizzie Borden are guilty, UFOs and the Bermuda Triangle are bogus, Elvis is dead and Paul McCartney is quite alive. However, I believe there could have been a second gunman in the JFK assassination, and that there are supernatural occurrences that defy human explanation. And the check sometimes is in the mail.

82. I spend more money than I’d like to admit each year at Half Price Books. I have been a customer since my college days, and I can easily spend two or three hours browsing without blinking an eye. My family has learned to drop me off and just arrange a time to meet me later.

83. I also try to periodically sell back books I’ll never read again (or have grown tired of) to Half Price Books. If I was rich and had rows of empty bookshelves I’d probably keep them all, but I have a finite amount of space, so I must purge every now and then to permit me to bring new treasures home.

84. I love to fish, although I don’t end up doing it much.

85. I don’t think there’s a sexier screen performance than that of Grace Kelly in either “It Takes a Thief” or “Rear Window.”

86. The first girl I ever had a crush on was Lisa Counts in the third grade. She was a beautiful Southern belle, and I knew she was something special when she invited me to her birthday party and I learned that she had invited only boys.

87. I have never watched a complete episode of the following TV shows: Alias, 24, Desperate Housewives, Lost, The OC, CSI (any variety), Stargate, The Man Show, Sex in the City, Deadwood, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, Joey, Grey’s Anatomy, South Park, Greatest Race, Survivor...Maybe it would be easier if I just listed the current shows I have watched.

88. I’m jealous of people such as my daughter Rebecca and fellow blogger Jenn who are natural artists and can draw whatever they want so well. I am in awe of people who can draw or paint well.

89. I’m a huge fan of the comedy team of Bob and Ray. They are the kings of dry humor and wit, in my opinion.

90. I prefer books with a straight-on narrative style, and a good, event-filled plot if it’s a work of fiction or autobiography. Books where the author talks for pages about his memories of the smells of pickles and alfalfa on his grandma’s farm drain the life out of me and make me reach for the TV clicker.

91. I’ve had to dig holes to bury two dogs (they were dead at the time) as well as take one cat to the vet to be put to sleep.

92. Based on which TV show makes me laugh out loud the most, the Beverly Hillbillies is the funniest thing on the tube. I knew my wife and I would get along well when I learned she loved both the Beverly Hillbillies and Star Trek.

93. One of my literary goals is to read every book Charles Dickens ever wrote.

94. I accepted Christ as my Saviour during elementary school, although it wasn’t until college that I was baptized.

95. Two historical periods that interest me greatly are the Victorian Age in Britain and the 1920s, the “Jazz Age,” in America.

96. I always wanted to learn how to fly a plane, but my poor eyesight prevented me. Now that I’ve had RK surgery, my eyesight would probably be okay, but I have neither the money nor the time to learn. My dad learned to fly small planes when I was a kid, and he would take me flying with him across Texas. We used to touch down in small rural airports where you had to make sure the cows were off the runway before landing. I'm not kidding.

97. I am doing research for three eventual books right now, all nonfiction books about local history.

98. I celebrated the American Bicentennial on July 4, 1976, by watching a huge fireworks show over Lake Pontchartrain in New Orleans.

99. As I’ve grown older, I have learned the value and wisdom of speaking less and listening more.

100. This last fact does not explain why I feel the need to keep a blog.


Gentleman Farmer said...

In re #89:

I can't tell you how often I've been listening to some TV or radio interviewer droning on, when I start shouting, "OMG! This idiot is doing the Komodo Dragon Bit, and he doesn't even know it!"

When I was in law school, I was commuting around central and southern New Jersey. At that time, Bob & Ray were doing afternoon drive time from WOR in New York. I gues I'd have to say that my favorite character was Captain Wolf Larsen on "Mary Backstage, Noble Wife." Larsen would be evil, and then he'd smack his head on a door frame, and then he'd be good, until he hit his head again.

Carrie said...

Hey, didn't they tell you in etiquette school that it's rude to bounce checks!

I also would like to read more Dickens, although maybe not everything.

#88 - I'm envious of artists also. I'm all left brain with not a hint of artistic talent. I can barely draw a stick figure.

Muley said...

GF: So glad to find another Bob and Ray fan! Yes, Wolf Larson is one of my favorite characters. Just a few months ago I was listening to the series of episodes of "Mary Backstayge, Noble Wife," where Wolf Larson shanghaied the Backstayges, Pop and Calvin. He started out mean, but then a mast would hit his head, and he'd turn into a genial host. Of course, he'd then get hit again, and turn mean again. Can't describe it to do it justice, but funny, funny stuff.

CW: All they told us in etiquette school was that if you ARE forced to bounce a check, use your best penmanship when you fill it out, and send a note of apology on proper stationary after you're caught.

Lauren said...

You have no idea how happy I am to hear that the two dogs were already dead.

Stephanie said...

I took a class on the Jazz Age. At the end of the term I wrote a paper about the relationship between the Blues and the poetry of the time. Said paper caused me to lose all interest in the Jazz Age.

As for watching 24, I suggest picking up the DVDs and not watching them during the series. No commercials, and the next episode is ready and waiting for you. They are quite well done.

Crazy and lovin' it said...

I love to paint, I just really stink at it now.

skywriter said...

I don't watch most of the crime/Washington based shows. . 24, CSI's, Without a Trace, the Unit. I'm a federal agent. . I don't live in a penthouse, I'm not a size 4, I can't afford $300 shoes, and most days I'm only keeping the world safe from some guy named Bubba that just wanted to smoke a cigarette in the lav in coach.

Muley said...

Lauren: Having them dead when burying them is much less problematic. Otherwise, you run the risk of getting a situation like the one portrayed in Stephen King's "Pet Sematary."

Stephanie: I guess I need to start with the 24 DVDs from season one. All I need is the time to watch them.

Crazy: You know, that didn't stop Jackson Pollock...

Linda: Do federal agents also take a dim view of passengers joining the infamous Mile High Club in lavatories? Just wondering.

Nettie said...

But that means you've at least watched some...

EmmaSometimes said...

Have you bounced a check at Half Price Books though?

#91 Glad you verified the cats state of health. I was a bit worried it might have taken you four hours to bury the cat?

#94 This is my favorite!! :o)

10-7, Texas Tornado. 3yr old daughter is 10-100 so now I'm 10-17. Over and out, good buddy.