Showing posts with label Inventions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inventions. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Boilerplate
A video about Boilerplate, a fictional robotic man put into real-life historical scenes by his two creative authors. I just got this book and am enjoying it a lot. Great vision and ideas.
The Boilerplate page is here.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Melt
I must say that whenever I count my blessings, one of the blessings I often fold down a finger for is the fact that my current day job requires me to attend very few meetings. While meetings can sometimes be productive and even fun (certainly more fun than resolving an issue through scores of long, meandering and barely literate e-mails, for example), meetings can often be boring, depressing and, yes, even dangerous. Lethal, if you must know.
A recent article in a scholarly publication -- the New England Journal of Applied Brainiology, I think it was – described the study of hundreds of medical case files and the conclusion that, in cases where subjects were exposed to excessive numbers of long and boring meetings, there was a downright decent chance that a number of the subjects would suffer a medical condition known as cerebellus gellus, from the Latin phrase meaning “melted brain.”
The article describes four distinct stages of “brain melt” (cerebellus gellus). In Stage One, the brain is in its normal state prior to the beginning of the meeting. In Stage Two, usually occurring within the first 20 minutes of an especially boring meeting, the normally soft yet firm brain tissue devolves into a jellied substance. Like Thanksgiving Day cranberry sauce plopped out of its can, the brain can now jiggle up and down and from side to side when moved or shaken.
In Stage Three, which occurs usually after at least 40 minutes of meeting time, or after viewing five or six overly detailed and hard to read PowerPoint slides, the jellied brain tissue continues to disintegrate into a gelatinous goo, much like heated rubber cement or a warm cup of Jello Pudding.
Finally, if the subject stays in a boring meeting long enough, he or she can enter Stage Four, where actual liquefaction of the cerebral tissue takes place. In severe cases, if the viscosity is low enough, the brain broth will actually submit to gravity and escape through the nasal passages, resulting in a real mess for the custodians and a hefty dry cleaning bill to boot. The victim will by this point be of little use in further brainstorming sessions, since the brain in question has essentially left the building. Often, a Stage Four event results in hospitalization or death, or requires the subject’s transfer to a more suitable position, usually something in sales or government service.
But the reason I have introduced you to this shocking information is not to scare or depress you, but to bring you news of hope. I’m not sure I should be endorsing any products in this space, but in light of the seriousness of this condition, and due to the large number of readers who undoubtedly slog through meetings every week of their lives, I’m sure the blogging powers that be won’t mind if I tell you about one heroic company that has stepped up to the plate and made brain melt survivable.
The company, TeamPlayerz®, has introduced a line of products aimed at those people who find themselves trapped regularly in boring meetings. And at least two of these products are designed for employees whose brains have disappeared as a result of the terrible condition I described earlier.
The biggest problem that cerebellus gellus causes, besides death, is that the victim is left without a working brain. While solidification science has found a way to reassemble all of that liquid brain matter close to its original shape, size and texture, the trauma suffered during brain melt usually renders the information once stored there to be lost forever.
That’s where the TeamPlayerz® Back Up Brain™ system rides in to save the day. Much in the way a computer user pays for an offsite company to back up the material stored on their computer hard drive in case of a fire or other accident, Back Up Brain™ stores an employee’s brain information safely inside a supercomputer hard drive located deep in the bowels of a Kansas salt mine. After brain melt occurs, the old tissue can be solidified by qualified medical personnel, then a simple download of the subject’s former memory stored by Back Up Brain™ is accomplished with a few wires and clips, much like jumping a car battery. In no time at all, the subject is ready to re-enter the conference room and take up those scintillating discussions of employment guidelines, inventory management and online marketing strategies right where they left off.
Persons who have had close brushes with brain melt find that the TeamPlayerz® Brain Bib™ is a handy thing to have on hand during subsequent meetings. This form-fitting plastic sheeting is almost invisible, and when worn discreetly over clothing can prevent stains and other damage caused by a melted brain escaping through the nostrils. It comes in floral, musk and unscented fragrance options.
The bottom line is – you no longer must suffer from the after effects of brain melt! But, you might be asking, what if my meetings are boring, but not quite boring enough to cause such spectacular damage? Well, TeamPlayerz® has introduced an entire line of products aimed at you.
When faced with a boring meeting, the first impulse for many of us is to begin losing our attention span. Sometimes we become so distracted that we drift off into our own worlds, and in extreme cases we can fall asleep sitting up. This proves embarrassing when we emit a telltale rivulet of drool down the front of our shirt and are then jolted out of our peaceful reveries by a command to “Wake up!,” or a question directed at us about the inane yet crucial content we missed while dozing.
Enter the TeamPlayerz® Thought Tingler™ 5000, designed to fire up enough neurons to see a user through a 2-hour meeting of extreme dullness without a battery recharge. The ThoughtTingler, which consists of a small control unit about the size of a cell phone and two thin flesh-colored wires, is attached to the user’s back on a belt or bra clip and run up inside the clothes where it cannot be seen. Flesh-colored electrical contacts at the end of each wire are attached to the back of the neck. A slight electrical charge can then be sent as often as the user wishes, at intervals of five seconds or longer, to help them stay alert through even the most snore-inducing performances.
A deluxe model, the TeamPlayerz® Thought Tingler™ 5000XL, also includes a small microprocessor with voice recognition software that can send a boost of electrical power to the user when words or phrases selected by the user are detected, such as the user’s name and department, pertinent project areas and personnel, and exceptionally overused words and phrases such as “outside the box,” “taking it to the next level,” “going green” or “paradigm shift.”
What if someone’s problem isn’t staying awake during a meeting, but is instead coming up with some intelligent, or at least coherent, words to respond with when asked a question out of the blue? Sometimes, all that’s needed is a little extra brainpower in reserve. The solution is simple -- open up and eat a tasty TeamPlayerz® Bit-O-Brain™ bar before a meeting. Resembling the classic Bit-O-Honey candy bar you might have loved as a child, the Bit-O-Brain bar provides at least 10 new thoughts per hour to the average user – just the edge you might need during that think tank on the proposed company mission statement. For smaller needs, bite-size Noggin Nuggets™ provide at least three new thoughts apiece. They’re available in chocolate, vanilla and mocha flavors.
Finally, if all else fails and it becomes evident that a person doesn’t have what it takes to mentally survive a meeting through its bitter end, sometimes the only solution is escape by flight. To allow that to happen in a way that does not pin blame on its customers, TeamPlayerz® has introduced the Panic Pack™. This small electrical device, which can be concealed easily inside a coat pocket, pants pocket or purse, uses wireless sensors to learn the codes and frequencies of all electrically controlled devices within 50 yards of a conference room. With the push of a button, the Panic Pack can make lights go off, fire alarms blare, sprinkler systems activate and sound systems and PowerPoint projectors suffer instant blackouts. (Warning: this item is not recommended for customers wearing cardiac pacemakers).
So, fellow meeting veterans, please share this encouraging news with others at your workplace. Feel free to copy or e-mail this or, better yet – why not call a meeting to discuss its contents? Just make sure during the meeting that if your nose starts to run, or you smell the faint odor of cranberries, run!
A recent article in a scholarly publication -- the New England Journal of Applied Brainiology, I think it was – described the study of hundreds of medical case files and the conclusion that, in cases where subjects were exposed to excessive numbers of long and boring meetings, there was a downright decent chance that a number of the subjects would suffer a medical condition known as cerebellus gellus, from the Latin phrase meaning “melted brain.”
The article describes four distinct stages of “brain melt” (cerebellus gellus). In Stage One, the brain is in its normal state prior to the beginning of the meeting. In Stage Two, usually occurring within the first 20 minutes of an especially boring meeting, the normally soft yet firm brain tissue devolves into a jellied substance. Like Thanksgiving Day cranberry sauce plopped out of its can, the brain can now jiggle up and down and from side to side when moved or shaken.
In Stage Three, which occurs usually after at least 40 minutes of meeting time, or after viewing five or six overly detailed and hard to read PowerPoint slides, the jellied brain tissue continues to disintegrate into a gelatinous goo, much like heated rubber cement or a warm cup of Jello Pudding.
Finally, if the subject stays in a boring meeting long enough, he or she can enter Stage Four, where actual liquefaction of the cerebral tissue takes place. In severe cases, if the viscosity is low enough, the brain broth will actually submit to gravity and escape through the nasal passages, resulting in a real mess for the custodians and a hefty dry cleaning bill to boot. The victim will by this point be of little use in further brainstorming sessions, since the brain in question has essentially left the building. Often, a Stage Four event results in hospitalization or death, or requires the subject’s transfer to a more suitable position, usually something in sales or government service.
But the reason I have introduced you to this shocking information is not to scare or depress you, but to bring you news of hope. I’m not sure I should be endorsing any products in this space, but in light of the seriousness of this condition, and due to the large number of readers who undoubtedly slog through meetings every week of their lives, I’m sure the blogging powers that be won’t mind if I tell you about one heroic company that has stepped up to the plate and made brain melt survivable.
The company, TeamPlayerz®, has introduced a line of products aimed at those people who find themselves trapped regularly in boring meetings. And at least two of these products are designed for employees whose brains have disappeared as a result of the terrible condition I described earlier.
The biggest problem that cerebellus gellus causes, besides death, is that the victim is left without a working brain. While solidification science has found a way to reassemble all of that liquid brain matter close to its original shape, size and texture, the trauma suffered during brain melt usually renders the information once stored there to be lost forever.
That’s where the TeamPlayerz® Back Up Brain™ system rides in to save the day. Much in the way a computer user pays for an offsite company to back up the material stored on their computer hard drive in case of a fire or other accident, Back Up Brain™ stores an employee’s brain information safely inside a supercomputer hard drive located deep in the bowels of a Kansas salt mine. After brain melt occurs, the old tissue can be solidified by qualified medical personnel, then a simple download of the subject’s former memory stored by Back Up Brain™ is accomplished with a few wires and clips, much like jumping a car battery. In no time at all, the subject is ready to re-enter the conference room and take up those scintillating discussions of employment guidelines, inventory management and online marketing strategies right where they left off.
Persons who have had close brushes with brain melt find that the TeamPlayerz® Brain Bib™ is a handy thing to have on hand during subsequent meetings. This form-fitting plastic sheeting is almost invisible, and when worn discreetly over clothing can prevent stains and other damage caused by a melted brain escaping through the nostrils. It comes in floral, musk and unscented fragrance options.
The bottom line is – you no longer must suffer from the after effects of brain melt! But, you might be asking, what if my meetings are boring, but not quite boring enough to cause such spectacular damage? Well, TeamPlayerz® has introduced an entire line of products aimed at you.
When faced with a boring meeting, the first impulse for many of us is to begin losing our attention span. Sometimes we become so distracted that we drift off into our own worlds, and in extreme cases we can fall asleep sitting up. This proves embarrassing when we emit a telltale rivulet of drool down the front of our shirt and are then jolted out of our peaceful reveries by a command to “Wake up!,” or a question directed at us about the inane yet crucial content we missed while dozing.
Enter the TeamPlayerz® Thought Tingler™ 5000, designed to fire up enough neurons to see a user through a 2-hour meeting of extreme dullness without a battery recharge. The ThoughtTingler, which consists of a small control unit about the size of a cell phone and two thin flesh-colored wires, is attached to the user’s back on a belt or bra clip and run up inside the clothes where it cannot be seen. Flesh-colored electrical contacts at the end of each wire are attached to the back of the neck. A slight electrical charge can then be sent as often as the user wishes, at intervals of five seconds or longer, to help them stay alert through even the most snore-inducing performances.
A deluxe model, the TeamPlayerz® Thought Tingler™ 5000XL, also includes a small microprocessor with voice recognition software that can send a boost of electrical power to the user when words or phrases selected by the user are detected, such as the user’s name and department, pertinent project areas and personnel, and exceptionally overused words and phrases such as “outside the box,” “taking it to the next level,” “going green” or “paradigm shift.”
What if someone’s problem isn’t staying awake during a meeting, but is instead coming up with some intelligent, or at least coherent, words to respond with when asked a question out of the blue? Sometimes, all that’s needed is a little extra brainpower in reserve. The solution is simple -- open up and eat a tasty TeamPlayerz® Bit-O-Brain™ bar before a meeting. Resembling the classic Bit-O-Honey candy bar you might have loved as a child, the Bit-O-Brain bar provides at least 10 new thoughts per hour to the average user – just the edge you might need during that think tank on the proposed company mission statement. For smaller needs, bite-size Noggin Nuggets™ provide at least three new thoughts apiece. They’re available in chocolate, vanilla and mocha flavors.
Finally, if all else fails and it becomes evident that a person doesn’t have what it takes to mentally survive a meeting through its bitter end, sometimes the only solution is escape by flight. To allow that to happen in a way that does not pin blame on its customers, TeamPlayerz® has introduced the Panic Pack™. This small electrical device, which can be concealed easily inside a coat pocket, pants pocket or purse, uses wireless sensors to learn the codes and frequencies of all electrically controlled devices within 50 yards of a conference room. With the push of a button, the Panic Pack can make lights go off, fire alarms blare, sprinkler systems activate and sound systems and PowerPoint projectors suffer instant blackouts. (Warning: this item is not recommended for customers wearing cardiac pacemakers).
So, fellow meeting veterans, please share this encouraging news with others at your workplace. Feel free to copy or e-mail this or, better yet – why not call a meeting to discuss its contents? Just make sure during the meeting that if your nose starts to run, or you smell the faint odor of cranberries, run!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Putting a (Better?) Face On Things
I just read the most interesting article in today's New York Times. It's about a new use of technology that I'm surprised hasn't been in use before now.
Basically, there is a computer program, called in the article a "beautification engine," that can input a photograph of someone's real face, and then show what that person's "ideal" face (i.e., the face found the most beautiful by others) might look like. The photos below show a woman named Martina Eckstut in her before shot (left side) and after shot (right side):
Here's a bit more from the article about what the computer program is and how it was developed:
Then again, I must admit I am dying to see what my mug would look like after being spruced up by having my 234 measurements tinkered with. Would I actually be...handsome? Could I contemplate a career as a billboard model for beer or fast food?
Anyway, I don't have any truly deep thoughts about this now. I just thought it was neat. To read the entire article, or to see more "before and after" photos, go here.
Basically, there is a computer program, called in the article a "beautification engine," that can input a photograph of someone's real face, and then show what that person's "ideal" face (i.e., the face found the most beautiful by others) might look like. The photos below show a woman named Martina Eckstut in her before shot (left side) and after shot (right side):
Here's a bit more from the article about what the computer program is and how it was developed:
The photograph on the right was doctored by the “beautification engine” of a new computer program that uses a mathematical formula to alter the original form into a theoretically more attractive version, while maintaining what programmers call an “unmistakable similarity” to the original.On one level, I am saddened and disturbed by this. I mean, don't we all feel bad enough about the way we look without a computer program showing exactly how far away we are from looking our best? Will there be people who buy this program, print off the photo of their "ideal" look, and then go to their local plastic surgeon and say, "Fix me"?
The software program, developed by computer scientists in Israel, is based on the responses of 68 men and women, age 25 to 40, from Israel and Germany, who viewed photographs of white male and female faces and picked the most attractive ones.
Scientists took the data and applied an algorithm involving 234 measurements between facial features, including the distances between lips and chin, the forehead and the eyes, or between the eyes.
Essentially, they trained a computer to determine, for each individual face, the most attractive set of distances and then choose the ideal closest to the original face. Unlike other research with formulas for facial attractiveness, this program does not produce one ideal for a feature, say a certain eye width or chin length.
Then again, I must admit I am dying to see what my mug would look like after being spruced up by having my 234 measurements tinkered with. Would I actually be...handsome? Could I contemplate a career as a billboard model for beer or fast food?
Anyway, I don't have any truly deep thoughts about this now. I just thought it was neat. To read the entire article, or to see more "before and after" photos, go here.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
How to Hula While You Make Moolah
I think it was that eminent philosopher Fonzie who said, "Sit on it and spin!" That might be a good slogan for something called "The Hawaii Chair," which I discovered on a blog somewhere. Check out this YouTube video of what has to be one of the goofiest products ever invented. If you want the sensation of working at your desk during an 8.4 earthquake, then I guess this is for you.
And just what, pray tell, is a "2800 RPM Hula Motor?"
And just what, pray tell, is a "2800 RPM Hula Motor?"
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Random Observations and Trivial Events
I LOVE YOU, CHOP, CHOP
I passed by a display in my local grocery store the other day which I assume was meant to suggest possible Christmas gift ideas. On a table there were all sorts of objects that had been "personalized" with a photograph. A photo of an attractive woman was used in each example, her smiling face wrapped around coffee mugs and pencil holders and placed atop calendars and mouse pads. The idea, I guess, is that anyone can take a picture of a loved one and get that picture put on the object of their choice.
This is not anything new, of course, but I was a bit taken aback when I saw what one of the items available for personalization was. At first I thought it might be a super-sized mouse pad, but on closer inspection I discovered that the woman's face was now smiling from the surface of a cutting board. You know, like the ones you cut meat or chop carrots on.
I still have not been able to figure this one out. Why in the world would someone want to personalize a cutting board? And if they do, what kind of message is that sending? I love my kids and would never want to see them hurt, but if I send their grandmothers cutting boards with their cute little faces on them, am I not, in effect, asking them to stab and hack their darling little sweeties every time they chop celery for the soup? Could someone do this in good conscience?
And, if I send someone a cutting board with their own photo on it, am I not asking them to regularly simulate hari-kiri? Will they they get the idea that I want them to commit suicide?
I guess that if you had a bad breakup, you could order one of these adorned with the photo of your ex-spouse or ex-partner (chop, chop, HACK, HACK), but is there a huge market for that? Maybe so.
IT'S STILL A LONG WAY TO THE CAFETERIA
Content alert: the following paragraphs will be discussing toilets and their functions. You have been warned.
I have not done the scientific testing on this (and I never will), but I have come up with a theory involving toilets and their relative flushing power, based on elevation above sea level. This comes as a result of many years of personal experience in the field.
Can you relate to this? If I am in an office building of multiple stories, and if I go to a restroom on an upper floor and ask a toilet to do just what it is designed to do, more often than not, it fails. A toilet needs a certain, shall we say, hydraulic power to carry away what it is designed to carry away, but when I'm in a fifth floor restroom and flush a toilet, it disappoints. A toilet on a high floor seems to think it is a washing machine, content to just swirl water around the bowl a bit in an effort to clean its contents instead of carrying them far away.
By contrast, if I go down to the ground floor of that very same building and flush a toilet in a restroom there, I am met with a sound like that made by a 1962 model TWA jet. The toilet water will circle around and around with the ferocity of a whirlpool at the bottom of Niagra Falls, and if I make the mistake of covering every square inch of surface around the seat with my posterior, creating a seal of sorts, I will be in danger of getting sucked down into the churning bowl like a bird sucked into a jet engine. When the titanic suction ends, I will then be lodged somewhere down into the pipes until a janitor hears my frantic cries for help and rescues me.
Why does this happen? Can physics account for the difference? I will leave this for future scientific researchers to figure out.
I passed by a display in my local grocery store the other day which I assume was meant to suggest possible Christmas gift ideas. On a table there were all sorts of objects that had been "personalized" with a photograph. A photo of an attractive woman was used in each example, her smiling face wrapped around coffee mugs and pencil holders and placed atop calendars and mouse pads. The idea, I guess, is that anyone can take a picture of a loved one and get that picture put on the object of their choice.
This is not anything new, of course, but I was a bit taken aback when I saw what one of the items available for personalization was. At first I thought it might be a super-sized mouse pad, but on closer inspection I discovered that the woman's face was now smiling from the surface of a cutting board. You know, like the ones you cut meat or chop carrots on.
I still have not been able to figure this one out. Why in the world would someone want to personalize a cutting board? And if they do, what kind of message is that sending? I love my kids and would never want to see them hurt, but if I send their grandmothers cutting boards with their cute little faces on them, am I not, in effect, asking them to stab and hack their darling little sweeties every time they chop celery for the soup? Could someone do this in good conscience?
And, if I send someone a cutting board with their own photo on it, am I not asking them to regularly simulate hari-kiri? Will they they get the idea that I want them to commit suicide?
I guess that if you had a bad breakup, you could order one of these adorned with the photo of your ex-spouse or ex-partner (chop, chop, HACK, HACK), but is there a huge market for that? Maybe so.
IT'S STILL A LONG WAY TO THE CAFETERIA
Content alert: the following paragraphs will be discussing toilets and their functions. You have been warned.
I have not done the scientific testing on this (and I never will), but I have come up with a theory involving toilets and their relative flushing power, based on elevation above sea level. This comes as a result of many years of personal experience in the field.
Can you relate to this? If I am in an office building of multiple stories, and if I go to a restroom on an upper floor and ask a toilet to do just what it is designed to do, more often than not, it fails. A toilet needs a certain, shall we say, hydraulic power to carry away what it is designed to carry away, but when I'm in a fifth floor restroom and flush a toilet, it disappoints. A toilet on a high floor seems to think it is a washing machine, content to just swirl water around the bowl a bit in an effort to clean its contents instead of carrying them far away.
By contrast, if I go down to the ground floor of that very same building and flush a toilet in a restroom there, I am met with a sound like that made by a 1962 model TWA jet. The toilet water will circle around and around with the ferocity of a whirlpool at the bottom of Niagra Falls, and if I make the mistake of covering every square inch of surface around the seat with my posterior, creating a seal of sorts, I will be in danger of getting sucked down into the churning bowl like a bird sucked into a jet engine. When the titanic suction ends, I will then be lodged somewhere down into the pipes until a janitor hears my frantic cries for help and rescues me.
Why does this happen? Can physics account for the difference? I will leave this for future scientific researchers to figure out.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
May I Borrow a Battery? My Book is Dead
I went on Amazon.com one day recently to check out something or other, and the opening page, instead of giving me the usual recommendations by categories, was almost completely given over to introducing me to a new product called the Amazon.com "Kindle." It's basically the company's version of an electronic book reader, which they say they've been working on for three years to perfect.
Explaining the genesis of his company's new product, Amazon.com CEO and founder Jeff Bezos said, "The booklover in me often has asked the nerd in me, 'Is there a way to get the emotions and experiences I love from books, but combined with the possibilities of advanced technology? Can something as evolved as the book be improved?"
Now, maybe I'm just hopelessly mired in the technological mud, but when I sit down in a nice chair with a good book (the pulpy-paged type), one thing I surely never think about is how to transform the book in my hands into another electronic gizmo, which I must pamper and recharge and repair when it gets broken. I'm quite happy, thank you, to just let The Brothers Karamazov be The Brothers Karamazov, and not lament the fact that any book I flip the pages of can't also get me stock quotes, show YouTube videos or allow me to spend more money with Amazon.com. This ability may represent an "improvement" to Mr. Bezos, but I beg to differ.
I'm glad that books have not really "evolved" since their invention, despite Mr. Bezos's claim. Yes, they're a bit smaller and made of different materials than they were in Gutenberg's day, and we no longer have to fashion them entirely by hand or crank them out one at a time on a crude press, but the essence of a book is still the same -- pages of text between two covers, pages turned one at a time and enjoyed at the leisure and pace of the reader.
I don't know how many times I've seen people come out with these "electronic book" gizmos, announcing (or implying) that the printed book is on its long-overdue deathbed, only to have the gizmo, and not books, soon bite the dust.
Then again, maybe an electronic book is inevitable. Maybe there's so many people these days whose attention spans have been worn down to the nub by a steady dose of TV and DVDs and video games that they won't -- or can't -- read a book without some sort of electronic diversion handy. But then again, I don't think those people are the ones truly longing for a good book to savor. Let's face it, the target audience for any new electronic book is not likely to go out and download Dostoevsky or Dickens or Joyce to read on it.
I am content to get drenched as I leave my finger in the dike. Invent what you will, and while I applaud your technical genius and even let out a "hey, cool!" every now and then, I'm happy to keep my books just as they've always been.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Bite Into These Beans
The Harry Potter phenomenon has given birth to any number of products spun off from the original novels by J.K. Rowling, including movies, calendars, mugs, bed linens, pajamas, board games and too many others to list here.
One of the most popular products to come on the market as a Harry Potter tie-in is Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, which of course are one of the treats enjoyed by Harry and his friends in the books. One of the unique things about Bott’s Beans is their unusual flavor palette. When you bite into one of these jellybeans, you might be welcomed by a traditional sweet flavor, such as cherry or licorice, but you also might find (to your horror or pleasure, depending on your bent) that you have bitten into a jellybean featuring flavors such as pickle, sausage, booger, vomit, rotten egg, earwax or dirt.
From what I hear, kids love the “nasty” flavors, even if they say they are disgusted by them. I’m sure that the shock value of biting into earwax and vomit has probably subsided a bit by now, since so many kids have experienced that, so I am proposing some new “gross” flavors that the manufacturers might want to consider.
Proposed New Flavors of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans:
Theater seat gum
Chinese toy factory
Liquid paper
Grout
Bile
Ship channel spume
Lutefisk
Witch hazel
Dog breath
Mohair
Taxi seat
Mucilage
Pustule
Nursing bra
Scabies
Charismatic preacher sweat
Styrofoam
Baby burp
Grandpa’s mustache
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