Thursday, November 03, 2005

The Latest from Waco

IT'S OFFICIAL

Yesterday I heard my first Christmas tune of the season piped in through a sound system while shopping. The place was Wal-Mart, the song was "Jingle Bell Rock." Start your engines.

ANY COUPONS, YOU OLD FOGIE?

Speaking of piped-in music, the HEB grocery store I frequent plays 1960s and 1970s rock and pop hits, which I usually enjoy a lot, except when they interrupt a great tune I haven't heard in years to tell me that chicken gizzards are now available in the deli section. While I like the music, the teenagers who work the cash register and haphazardly bag my groceries absolutely hate it.

I have had this happen more than once. I wheel up with my cart and start unloading items, only to hear the checker, usually a teenaged boy with pimples, muttering loudly to impress his teenage female co-worker: "I hate this music. This music sucks! How can I work here with this stuff playing? Why don't they get some decent music in here? This sucks. I hate this music."

Of course, I empathize. If I had worked at a supermarket back in the 70s, and all they had playing over the speakers was Muzak and stuff like the Four Freshmen and Pat Boone, I would have gone nutso. So I know where they're coming from, even if I firmly believe the songs I grew up on are way superior to the drooling ghetto thump that most of these kids listen to. Maybe they understand, or maybe they don't, that if HEB played the stuff they wanted to hear over the speakers, Coldplay and Green Day and Simple Plan and Razzy Daddy Super Pimp 50 Cent Ghetto Hood rap, all the customers over the age of 23 would head down the road to buy their bagels at the Super Wal-Mart.

HIT ME AGAIN

This is not something your typical good Baptist boy does, but I occasionally pick up extra money dealing blackjack. My brother-in-law owns a sideline business here in Waco called Vegas to Go, and they provide casino games for parties. He does a lot of sorority and fraternity parties at Baylor, as well as company parties, family reunions and the like. There's no cash betting allowed. Usually what happens is that the players are given a certain amount of funny money, which they use to buy chips. They then either lose their chips or add to them by playing Texas Hold 'Em poker, blackjack, craps or roulette, and then trade them in at the end for tickets to a raffle of some sort.

Blackjack is fairly easy to deal, and the people who play are usually young and doing it for fun. So it's usually enjoyable, even though sitting there and dealing hands for two or three hours at a time can get tedious. Mrs. Muley (who deals as well) and I will be spending part of tomorrow night dealing at a sorority party on a riverboat here in Waco. Should be fun.

SENTIENT UNDERWEAR?

I've always wondered -- why do they call it a "Living" Bra? Are there bacteria or some other type of living organisms woven into the fabric? If so, ladies, can you feel those critters wriggling around? If you put one of these things in a microwave for a minute on HIGH, would it then be called a "Dead" Bra? And would it still support the merchandise?

THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR

I have so far said nothing about my Houston Astros since they won the National League pennant. As you know, they tanked in the World Series, losing every game to Chicago. What can I say? Even though the games were close (distressingly so), Chicago actually brought their offense along to the ballpark and deserved to win. I'm just glad that the 'Stros finally made it to the big show after 44 years. I hope it's not another 44 till they're back again.

And since the Astros didn't win the Series, no, the world will not end. At least not because of that.

2 comments:

Zoomdaddy said...

"drooling ghetto thump," I'll have to remember that one (btw, it's even more appropriate since I live in the Detroit metro area...Eminem, anyone?)

Anonymous said...

Someimes, I pick up a little butter-and-egg money dealing cards at a home tournament a friend organizes every couple of months. Shhh....